Bisexuality is a topic that doesn’t often seem to come up in the gay bondage world. Personally, I don’t consider myself bisexual. But I do feel quite certain there are a lot of guys that do consider themselves bisexual. And I know many of you are even straight, but we’ve discussed straight guys before. Haven’t said much about bisexuals.
I really wanted to bring it up because in the larger gay community, I still feel there’s a bit of discrimination against bisexuals. First off, many feel they don’t even exist, and they they’re just gay men (or women) in denial. Personally I think that’s nonsense, and a total disservice. It even gets me a bit angry. People with that view are just as bad as parents who want to “convert” their gay children. To simply say a bisexual is in denial is extremely dismissive, harmful, and intolerant, in my opinion.
I don’t see any reason why sexuality shouldn’t be on a scale, and while many lean to one end or another, there’s absolutely no reason why some people shouldn’t be somewhere in the middle. Many of us gay men at one time questioned how we felt about women (not all, I realize, but many). And there have been straight men who have questioned their attraction to men. All just different points on the scale. As we gain experience and self-awareness, many of us do tend to settle on a particular label. But if one doesn’t, I see no harm in that.
I rarely post women in my blog because I view myself as a gay man, and sexually, women are a turn off. But it doesn’t mean I don’t disrespect them. They are a part of our community, and they should be acknowledged and treated with respect.
The No Safe Word podcast has actually been quite helpful in reaching out to the straight community, and have included a few women as guests on their show. I don’t believe bisexuality has been discussed specifically, but they have had straight men, women, drag queens, and discussions on polyamory. While it doesn’t all cater to my personal interests, that’s half the point. There’s a little something there for everybody, and in the gay kink scene, they’d done quite a bit of outreach that should be recognized.
And no matter what you are: bisexual, straight, gay, transgender, queer, or something else… you all have a place.