Yes, another Josh post

I know you’re getting tired of this. I am too. But I gotta get this out of my system.

It’s basically as I suspected and feared… he’s connecting with people his own age, and basically forgetting about me. The logical part of me says this what he should do, be with people his own age, party (he’s that age), and spend time with his boyfriend. What do I expect anyway? I don’t dispute that. But at the same time, I’d love to hear from him, even if just to say “hi” for no reason. In fact, that’s all I want. I see him on FaceBook all the time (no, I don’t have a TFG facebook, but a work-related account for business contacts, of which he was one), writing to all others, but not to me, even though, before we departed, he sincerely promised to write. I know that rationally, I have no reason to expect him to. But emotionally, it still hurts me a lot. And it bugs me so much to have the logical and feeling side conflicted so much, both making strong arguments. Sigh…

I guess it’s just a confirmation that he means more to me than I mean to him. And even though I know it’s true, it still doesn’t mean I wanted to have it confirmed.

Thank God I still have Sam! I think I’d be a total depressed homebody without him.

(BTW, in regards to this song, the version I have has Bette saying the following during her spoken part about 2/3 of the way through: “You know, I used to think this song was about a man and a woman. Now, I’m not so sure. Maybe it’s about your ma… or your pa. Or some friend that you counted on… who left you… hurting real bad. Funny the things that go through your head when you sing a song… as deep as this one…” Guess which part applies to me.)

Okay, I’ll work to get over this. Thanks for having the patience with these vents. I’ll return to pics in the next post, promise…

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