Day: January 14, 2012

Sock Poll Results; No Anal–Revisited a year later

After being up for two weeks, here’s how the sock poll turned out:

I’m actually a bit surprised at how many of you kinks out there manged to wear your socks for a month or longer.  Not far off from 20%!  That was a bit surprising to me.  Why don’t more of the guys who fall into that category send me pics of these socks?  I only heard from a few of you; I’d still love to know more about what condition they were in, how smelly they were, and what finally made you stop.  Phil666666 sent me some pics of his shoes and socks, and I suppose the sort of self-explain why he had to stop wearing them.

So about a year ago I made the post down below, with the highlighted text.  (Original post here if the background bothers you.)  I’m reposting it again because I’ve heard from a few people, who write me all this time later, and say it was one of the most memorable posts I’ve done.  It’s time to revisit the topic, I think.

So my BF and I recently had physicals after switching doctors.  And we were both independently told that we each have larger than normal prostates.  This may answer something that may surprise many gay men–we don’t care for anal sex.

In light of our doctor’s revelation, this may not be that surprising… a larger prostate makes anal sex uncomfortable.  But many of you may be surprised to know that my partner and I, in a nearly 5 year relationship, have never had anal sex, nor are we even interested in it.

That said, I have played a bit with anal–basically, light fingering (by myself, not my partner), and small buttplugs.  By the way, do you have any idea how difficult it was to find a small buttplug?  They nearly don’t exist!  I do like it at times, but it’s pretty rare, and I really have to be in the mood for it for it to be enjoyable.  And even then, the plug can’t stay in too long.  I also can’t deny that I do get turned on by the thought (and pictures) of a foot/toes wriggling in my ass–although I think it’d be even hotter to be a top in that situation.

But more often than not, it’s just not something on our agenda.  Our sex is mostly bondage, feet, lycra, oral and/or jerk off.  With a lot of teasing, CBT, TT, etc. thrown in.  But we’re quite happy with that, and we don’t feel like we’re missing out!

In a related story, many of you know that we own a bondage bed.  Well, we customized it with extra hooks, but that was about it.  When we put in the final order, they guy asked us, “Are you sure you don’t want the sling extenders?”  This was an extra charge, and we said no.  He asked us again if we were sure, and we said yes, wondering why he was being so insistent.  It seems we were the first couple he could remember that ordered the bed without the sling extenders.  Hmmmmm.

At first, I thought we were an exception.  But a long time ago, there was a thread on the old Dreamcaps message board (now gone, but reborn again as JustADream), where lots of guys started confessing that they weren’t into it either.  And I’ve recently seen some GearFetish and Recon profiles stating similar.  It’s especially surprising given that pornographic images nearly always seem to culminate with it, as if it’s a given.  When I watched porn, I almost never made it to the end, because the anal stuff bored me.

So now I’m curious.  With the new year here, it’s time to confess.  Are you interested in anal sex, or not?  I’m going to guess it will, indeed, be a minority… but I’m also thinking that we may be surprised at how many aren’t into it.

At the time, I did have a poll on the subject.  After leaving it up for about a week or two, it turned out that while 60% of people did have anal sex, 40% have little to no interested in it.  Which is quite a surprise to me, and still is.  As well as the number of people I continually hear about that aren’t into it.  So let’s do another poll and see how it turns out this time.

Again, this does use flash… so if your computer doesn’t have that, you won’t be able to see it.  Sorry.

As for my BF and I, our views really haven’t changed at all.  After 6 years of being together, we still have yet to have anal sex.  There are other reasons why the idea is a bit frightening to me now (along medical related lines), but that’s a bit personal at the moment.  The main point I do have to say is that our sex life does not feel unfulfilled in the least, as this blog attests too.  So it can be done.  I also have to admit that even most of my prior relationships, when I was still dating, rarely had anal sex.  I guess I’ve been “lucky” in that sense that I’ve mostly been with partners that also weren’t interested in that particular activity (or just had a very mild, passing interest).

I can really only think of two guys in my entire life that I dated who were very into anal sex, and of course they were both tops.  Although they both never pushed it on me too much (no pun intended), as they knew how hesitant I was.  One guy, I never did have anal sex with (although I did tie him up when we lived together in college… maybe I should tell that story one day).  The other guy surprised me by saying he was interested in fucking me, but after some initial fooling around, he had me lie down on my back, put a condom on me, and then fucked me.  Which I had no idea was coming.  It was the first and only time I have topped analy in my life.  When I asked him about it afterwards, he stated that as he was fooling around, it was clear I was a bit too tight, and would have been in pain (which I think would have been very true, especially now that I know I have an enlarged prostate, which does make anal sex for me somewhat unpleasant).  So he just switched gears for me.

But I want to know about the rest of you who feel the same way.  Do you have a difficult time finding partners who feel similar? Or, if you are very into anal sex, have you met/dated/fooled around with someone who wasn’t?