I think one thing that can sometimes make the kink community a little intimidating is that is seems there’s a lot of people who seem to center their entire lives around it. Absolutely nothing wrong with that if that is what makes them happy. But I imagine for most of us, it’s just not possible.

I love kink. But really, it’s not what defines my life. If I had to break my waking time down, I’d estimate:

  • 15% is spent on blog related work (including creating posts, browsing pics, answering emails, twittering, etc.)
  • 40% is spent on my work/day job (this can be a lot more)
  • 20% is spent with my BF
  • 10% is spent just relaxing/vegging out/”me” time (this sometimes includes the BF)
  • 10% is spent pursuing my non-kinky hobbies (this also sometimes includes the BF)
  • 5% is spent with friends (non-kinky)/family


So, really… kinky stuff only defines about 15% of my life. That’s 85% of my life dedicated to other things. Okay, some things with the BF are kinky, but perhaps surprisingly, not as much as you may expect.  As you either know or suspect, sex is only a small part of a long term relationship.

Actually, now that I think of it, 15% of my life on just the blog and kinky contacts is a fairly significant chunk, especially when you compare it to my time spent with family and non-kinky friends.  It’s semi-depressing when I see they only get 5% of my life.  Part of it is my schedule, and part of it is geography… I’m literally not super close to my friends and family, and driving in LA is a huge pain, as you know.  Sometimes just going 10 miles can take an hour or more.

About how much of your life do you devote to kink?


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