TFG follow up: Despression in subs

My little post last week really affected a few people.  I got a number of responses the same day I posted it, and with their permission, I’m sharing some of them here.

Sparkles J. Dog wrote:

The blog was called “Master and His Slave” I think. I loved that blog and hearing about their experiences and I’m really sad the pup/slave removed it because of everything that happened between him and his Master. [I’m quite sure he’s correct about this –TFG]

I’ve been dealing with depression as a sub for years now. Earlier in our relationship, my depression would cause a lot of friction between my Master and I and often led to me feeling guilty about my submissiveness and interest in BDSM. A few years ago, Master got me in to start talking to a therapist and started some anti-depressants–currently taking Bupropion and between that and therapy I’ve made a lot of progress.

With the anti-depressants I actually managed to turn my submissiveness from being something I felt guilty about to one of the few parts of myself I was okay with; it became part of my support, part of me that didn’t need to be tweaked because it was the part that made me the happiest.

Still working on myself and it probably will never be perfect, but between Master, BDSM–especially puppy play–and therapy, I’ve become a much happier pup and would really hope that anyone who’s suffering finds a way to get some kind of help to get them to a better place in their lives. Everyone deserves a chance to be happy!

Another response I got on the same day:

Hello. Im wrting from Spain. Iim into feet, tickling…things like this. I think the problem of depression is the fact that we live in a world that doestn let us to play. Just working and workiong, can make us understand that play is out. For me, playing (sexually or not) is just the only thing we can do to be happy. When we stop it, our body doesnt understand waht is happening, and suddenly, one day: depression, sadness…
the only thing we have to do is to fight to make dreams come true. Always with limits, always with flying.
Cyber things are good, but we cannot do all just typing…
thanks for reading.

This reader surprised me by sending me a pic of his feet in a box, which I do find oddly hot.  (Again, he gave me permission to post the pic.)  May have to try that one day.  And the feet are pretty soft and sexy, too!


I’m certainly no psychologist, but I do wonder if the submissive nature of at least some subs may be a sign of low self-esteem issues.  Certainly not all–but for a fair number, this could be the case.  Perhaps they’ve had a difficult time earlier in their life, suffering from emotional abuse, and being told they’re worthless may actually be all they know, and in an odd way, gives some familiar comfort.

For me, when I’m feeling submissive, it’s typically because I’ve been in various positions of authority at work.  When you spend all day barking orders to people, it’s actually comforting to let others tell you what to do.  But clearly, this is not a universal feeling, and the reasons for people being submissive can vary.  Unfortunately, not all of them are necessarily healthy.

I do hope that no matter what a person’s reason may be for being submissive, the nature of being so explicity dominated may be cathartic.  I think this pic I found on tumblr a while ago sums it up.

Photo Mar 31, 6 21 08 PM


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