I freely admit that I’m more of a sub at heart. Yet if you visit my Recon profile, I list myself as 80% Dom. That’s because when I meet up with new people, I often like to be in control. And I do enjoy working with twink and newbie subs, and that means I usually have to Dom.
I actually do enjoy it, but when I initially began, I really wasn’t sure how it all worked. I was nervous. But not unlike SaltLakeFootman said, I eventually found myself asking, “What would turn me on if I were a sub?” and used that thought to guide me. Also, it means that nothing can happen during a scene that I’m not comfortable with. That’s important to me, since I do consider myself basically monogamous. I never have had oral or anal sex with any of my play sessions, and I do make that very clear with anyone I do meet.
I think it works for me. Beforehand, I haven’t had many other guys outside my husband Dom me, and admittedly, it’s not as if my husband were an experienced Dom before we met. So we’re just flying by the seat of what works for us, more or less completely unaware how other guys approach it. Fortunately, I haven’t had many complaints from guys I have Dommed, so I must be doing something right.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in being a sub to other guys. But I do take my marriage seriously, and I am very, very selective about who would Dom me. I would really have to trust the Dom and know them very well, not just someone I chatted with a couple of times on Recon. At the moment, I can only think of about 3-5 people I’d be comfortable with. That does limit what I’d get to experience. But I guess that’s just the way it goes.