I was speaking with a young cyber slave who recently found me online. And during our conversation, I asked him if he could post some of the pics he sent me. He replied:
Well it’s a little too revealing to post just yet Sir
I feel like a bad slave saying you can’t
You do have some rights as a slave, believe it or not. 🙂
And his reply:
Wow thank you Sir!
I have always been told I don’t have rights Sir
That was a bit frightening to me, and it reminded me of some of the rants that tallglassofoj had been making. So I want to remind all newbies to the scene: what you see on blogs and tumblr is often a fantasy. Not reality. Or at the very least, taken out of context.
For instance, take a picture like this, which is (rightfully) quite popular.
It’s hot. And most of us would see it, think it’s hot, and want to try it.
Here’s quite possibly the reality: it probably took at least a good 20-30 minutes (I’m guessing, I wasn’t there, but it’d probably take me about that long) to set that up. It’s a process. First the arms got tied. Then the body harness. Then the muzzle. Then the beginning of a very intricate suspension. What do you do while getting tied up? Depending on the scene, maybe nothing–just be an obedient sub. But often, small talk. Frequent check ins (“Is this too tight?”). A joke or two. The TV may be blaring in the background. Probably not what you initially fantasized at all when you first saw it.
Going back to the conversation I was having with the young cyber slave, there have been a few various articles I’ve seen floating around tumblr that depict the fact that slaves do, indeed, have rights. And if you’re in a proper Master/slave relationship, it’s actually a give and take situation on both ends. A good Master needs to be attuned to what the slave is into, and what’s a limit for them.
The impression that a slave relationship is 24/7, or that a slave has no rights may sound hot in passing, but the reality is quite different for most. Communication and consent are key, and both sides need to be very clear about what they are each looking for. And if the slave is not happy, they have the right to say so and/or get out of the relationship.
That is not to say that there can’t be 24/7 relationships, or ones where a slave gives himself up completely to a Master. But in those situations, I’d hope they’d come from an extended period of working together, knowing each other, and building trust. They don’t happen overnight, they take time. Certainly not on a first meet. And a quick post seen on a blog or tumblr generally isn’t going to be able to depict the entire backstory of what led up to a particular scene.
What often gets presented on blogs like mine and tumblr is a fantasy. It’s meant to be hot, get your off, maybe give you some ideas and thoughts about a scene. But to fully execute anything you see online, realize there is a fuller back story–a beginning, middle, and end of communication. And whether you’re a slave or a Master, don’t be afraid to speak up. Your own safety and comfort level are important, no matter what role you play.