Category: life

TFG:  Late Bloomer, Part 2

TFG: Late Bloomer, Part 2

As I left off, I was starting to acknowledge my burgeoning gay side in college.  Again, since there was no internet option at the time, the newspaper was my only real option.  It was then I put out a personals ad in the local paper.  The equivalent today would probably be a Craigslist ad.  I still remember to this day that my headline was “Discrete Adventure”, with my basic stats.  I only got one respondent who was in his 40s.  Being only 20, that sounded old to me, but I decided to give it a go.  This is how I met James (not his real name–none of the names in this story are real).

I was very lucky that James turned out to be a very nice guy, and very young looking for his age.  He did take me through my first sexual experiences, all oral.  He loved blowing me, and who was I to argue?  There was no fucking–the topic never even came up, and I had no interest in it–but I do still remember that after he sucked me off, he would want me to stand over him naked and fondle myself while he jerked himself off.  This was such a common way for us to end, I remember even asking him with sincerity, “Do all guys finish like this?”  He laughed and said no.

Before and after, he would also regale me with stories about other guys he had sex with, and I was amazed.  He’d see a guy at the grocery store, and then they’d be in the stockroom having sex 10 minutes later.  It was a world that was totally beyond me.  I probably was with him sexually on and off for about a year.  I never really considered us dating, nor do I think did he.  We were just what would now be called fuck buddies.

Now that I had gotten some experience, I was more intense about some of my later college crushes.  I did get in a bit of a love triangle… I had a huge crush on a guy named Juan, and his best friend Xander had a crush on me.  Xander was a bit overweight and smoked, which were big turn offs for me.  Juan, though, was funny, slim, and sexy.  He did smoke as well, but infrequently.  He was also very sexual, and loved teasing me.  Like James, Juan would also tell me wild stories about his sexual adventures.  He knew I was totally into him, but we didn’t do anything until years later, although we did become good friends.  (I never did do anything with Xander, nor did I ever get very close to him.)

But aside from James, none of my gay sexual urges were being acted on.  That changed a bit with a crush I developed at my first job.  There was a guy named Christian who was a totally funny and innocent twink.  Man, did I go for him.  And he seemed to like me, we bonded instantly.  I was still young and naive, and still wasn’t sure where exactly this was going.  But in probably less than a week I spent the night at his house.

He had a waterbed.  We began with playful wrestling (doesn’t it always?).  His hand “accidentally” brushed my crotch.  I remember saying, “Careful, or you might get me hard.”  There was a pause, and then he meekly replied, “Would that be a bad thing?”  I stared at him as I had him pinned under me, and complete understanding hit me.  And like a bad gay teen movie, I dove in with a kiss.  We made out like crazy and explored each other’s bodies (although I resisted his feet, because he seemed self-conscious about then and was very ticklish there to boot).  We did suck each other off, and his mouth was tireless.  He did start by saying, “Some holes are one-way only,” which I laughed and agreed.  Afterwards, he told me I was his first.  I thought that was pretty awesome, and I felt like a bit of a role model to him like James was to me.

We did have sex one other time not long after, but after that, we sort of drifted apart.  But I did still see James throughout, and he was quite happy for me and Christian.

As my college years were winding down, I took a trip with my parents over the summer.  By then, the evidence was mounting that I was gay, and I was planning to telling them after this trip.  I wasn’t sure how I was going to approach it, as I’ve said before, my family didn’t really talk about this sort of thing.  I ended up getting hurt during the trip.  I was okay (minor fracture), but it was an ordeal at the time, and we had to find a hospital while on vacation.  Once I was recovered and out of the hospital, I called James and told him about it.  My parents were in the room, but I just told them I was calling a friend.  I guess my demeanor must have changed a lot, because after I hung up, there was a long pause, and then my father asked softly, “Was that your boyfriend?”

I was in shock.  I hadn’t expected them to approach the topic first.  It took me completely off guard.  I paused and replied, “Well, I was planning to talk to you about that after we got home.”  He just nodded, and then acted like nothing had happened.  Of course, when we did get home, I had no idea how to bring it back up again, so I didn’t.  After all, I didn’t think of James as my boyfriend.

I got close with another person from that same job where I had met Christian, a guy named Noel.  He was different because he was straight.  But boy, did I have a crush on him.  He was thin, blonde, and had a killer smile.  He was funny and kind.  It actually took me a while to realize it was a crush, because I think it was even a bit deeper than that… I think I loved him, but didn’t really realize it at the time.  He loved me too, but it never did become sexual.  Not even a kiss.  It was like I loved him too much to even go that route.  At the time, it honestly seemed beyond sexual.  Besides, I was quite sure he was straight, and at the time… well, I wasn’t quite sure what I was, let alone how I should deal with how I felt about him.  Thought I’m quite sure he didn’t know I had a foot fetish, he teased me with his feet.  I would pretend to be grossed out, but secretly, I wanted to suck and kiss them so badly.  We would roughhouse a bit, and his body had a very sexy smell that I still remember and miss to this day.

I continued being very close to Noel, even though nothing overtly sexual was happening.  We were just best, best friends.  Sadly, after a year, he enlisted in the military, and was about to move to Texas.  I literally cried like a baby in my mother’s arms when he left.  Fortunately, we did write often with letters that were pages long (again, before the internet and email).

It was while he was gone that I answered someone else’s ad in the newspaper, and I got my first boyfriend.  I won’t bore you with all that right now, as the point of all this is how I came to understand my sexuality.  I was pretty confident by then.  I told other family members and friends, including Noel when he came back to visit during a leave.  He did confirm that he was straight, but that he was my friend, and didn’t care.  Another awesome TV movie-type moment, but it was true.

It took my parents longer to come around and talk about it openly with them, but in time, they did.  And while I’m no longer with that first boyfriend (went through two serious relationships before I met the guy I’m with now), they fully support my current relationship.  It’s been great.

Originally posted 2014-08-24 05:00:00. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

TFG:  Late Bloomer, Part 1

TFG: Late Bloomer, Part 1

Note from TFG: After over 10 years of content, I think it could occasionally be good and repost some of my favorite posts over the years. So enjoy this trip down memory lane.

I’ve mentioned before that I was a late bloomer.  I thought I should expand on that, so that others can possibly related to my story, or at least parts of it.

When I was growing up as a teenager, there was no internet.  So for all you young’uns, imagine this site didn’t exist, as well as every social network you can think of.  No Grindr, Scruff, GearFetish, Fetlife, Reddit, Recon, or any other forum.  Doesn’t leave you with much, does it?  All you had available was TV, books, magazines, and the phone (and I’m talking landlines here).  Granted, the book and magazine scene was larger, which helped a little bit… if you knew where to go to get materials, or were able to.

I was in self-denial for a while.  Well, maybe not self-denial as much as I didn’t even think about it.  My family was very nice and relatively open-minded, but sex, let alone being gay, was rarely talked about.  I think my parents took the “let’s not talk about it, and let them discover it for themselves” approach.

Looking back, there was one small sign of unspoken tolerance.  Our next door neighbors were two older women who lived together.  Looking back, they basically fit the stereotypes of a lesbian couple.  But they had a pool, and we didn’t, and they were kind enough to let us use their pool when we were kids.  My parents would often come over and talk with them as we swam.  My parents never said anything about them being gay, although I’m sure they knew.  I thought it was a bit odd at the time (I was quite young myself, probably pre-teen), but since my parents didn’t say anything about it, I didn’t either.  Perhaps setting up how I’d deal with my own feelings later on.

As I’ve mentioned on my blog before, I did have an inkling I liked bondage even at an early age.  I tied myself up quite a bit in my room with a jump-rope, roll up in a rug, or even string if necessary.  (See this post for more details, it has a very amusing story about how I first ejaculated with my Spiderman doll tied to my dick.)  Later, I would notice myself staring at guy’s feet.  I didn’t know why, I just did, and it excited me inside.  I knew this wasn’t quite “normal”, but I was drawn to them.  Remember, you couldn’t just go and look this up online.  There was no online, and no real sense that there were other people having those same thoughts and feelings.  Hence why so many people felt so utterly alone and isolated.  I didn’t really understand this until much, much later.  We’re talking even beyond my 20s.

But you know how most guys eventually discover their dad’s porn stash?  I was no exception.  My father was definitely straight, and my eye tended to lean towards those uncommon occasions a guy was included in the pics.  As is the stereotype, most of the guys in straight porn aren’t exactly attractive, but I manged to enjoy a few.  But the most interesting part?  The porn mags were largely called Leg Show, which seemed to lean towards women’s feet.  Part of me wonders if a foot fetish can be genetic…

In high school, I got along with girls great.  (Imagine that.)  I didn’t have a lot of guy friends, but it didn’t seem to matter too much when I had so many girls around me.  I did manage to date girls in high school, because quite a few were infatuated with me.  I was cute then as now, lol.  I never much went past the make out stage, though, before we’d lose interest.  I did start to develop crushes on guys, which I never said anything to anyone about.  Again, I didn’t really understand it.  I don’t even think I would have known it was called “gay” at the time.  In my mind, these weren’t crushes.  They were my “secret friend.”  Secret because only I knew they were my friend.  Kinda strange, but that’s how I justified it in my mind.

I loved to read.  And around then a YA (Young Adult) book came out called Slumber Party, by Christopher Pike.  It was one of the first YA books that I knew of that was written as a thriller murder mystery, and you can argue it paved the way for books such as The Hunger Games, Twilight, and Divergent to be as successful as they are now.  This book was wildly successful in the YA market, and he wrote many others.  A fair number of them contained mild bondage.  Also at the same time was a book called Blind Date by R. L. Stine, who is still very big with the YA and juvenile book scene.  This was one of his first YA books, and I mention it because the climatic chapter has an extended scene with the main guy tied to a chair and tortured (semi-graphically for a YA novel).

I mention all that because I decided to write my own “books” in high school (averaging about 60 pages or so each), staring both my friends and guys I had crushes on.  Invariably, in these stories, many of my gay crushes ended up tied up.  I even shared these novels amongst some of my friends, and they actually became somewhat popular.  Since they were sort of adventure/mystery stories, having guys tied up in them (and a few girls… the plot sometimes worked out that way) wasn’t unusual.

Entering college, I had to take a class that forced us to do a personal  journal.  It was here that I first wrote down that while I suspected I’d be married to a girl one day, I really wanted to try something with a guy.  I believe I wrote, “If I don’t make out with a guy, I may die.”  I did still think I’d ultimately be with a girl.  There was one girl all throughout high school that I was very close to.  And my parents, especially my father, would often nudge me to girls.  It think it was around here that I began to acknowledge I had at least some gay feelings… but I was still convinced I’d be with a girl one day.  Guys were just a fleeting thing.

Still, I wanted to see.  That lead me to put out a personals ad in the paper.  But more on that next week…

Originally posted 2014-08-17 05:00:00. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Call Me By Your Name movie review (kinky perspective)

Call Me By Your Name movie review (kinky perspective)

If you haven’t heard, this is the breakout movie of the year, and I just saw it last night.  It’s a coming of age story of a boy’s first crush, and I was so moved, I’m writing about it right now for today’s post.  I’ll be splitting this into two parts:  a general and spoiler free-review, and a spoiler-free kinky perspective.

First, the spoiler-free review.  I can say that this movie takes you right back to the time in high school or college (or perhaps your current situation, depending on your age) where you pined for your first male crush, and all the confusing yet passionate feelings you experience that make your heart race.  The movie is very slow paced, but that’s intentional.    The performances are amazing all around, and you may have heard about a remarkable monologue by the father at the end.  It really is incredible.  Even more moving is the incredible ending shot that will stay with you a long time.

On the downside, I do feel the actors come across as older than the characters they play (17 and I believe 23, respectively… they both seem much older).  Also, a few have criticized the movie for note being more explicit in the love-making scenes.  I argue that the movie is more about the emotional passion than the physical one.  To me, the love scenes had enough of a sensuality that I was satisfied.  But your own opinion may vary. 

But really, these are very nit-picky points.  The movie overall is remarkable, and a fantastic telling of a first love.

Now, on the kinky side of things for you fellow perverts:  as I already stated, the love making scenes are more muted.  And there’s no bondage to speak of.  However, the famous peach scene is included, and is tastefully (no pun intended) done.  If you don’t know what I mean, you’ll enjoy a pleasant surprise when you see the movie.  It’s not really that kinky by our standards, but it is pretty kinky for a mainstream(ish), Oscar contender movie.

Fortunately, there is quite a bit of feet and bare chests.  The twink-ish lead, Timothee Chalamet (and while he plays 17, he’s actually 20 in real life) spends well over half the movie shirtless, in shorts only, and is frequently barefoot.  And you do even get a fair amount of sole shots–and most surprisingly, a foot massage from Arnie Hammer (while the feet are not front and center, he ends it by giving the top of his foot a quick peck kiss!).  As for Arnie Hammer, he’s not shirtless as often, but still quite an amount, and if he’s not shirtless, his shirt is either unbuttoned half-way down or open entirely.  He is barefoot a bit, but you don’t get as many good looks, especially his soles.  One okay shot, though there are a couple of good shots of his tops.  One is seen with his foot in the pool, and it lingers for quite a while.  Towards the end of the movie, they play footsie with their tops, and it’s actually quite sensual.  When this movie comes out on DVD, there will be quite a bit to screen cap.

I’m including the trailer below.  It’s more of a slow paced emotional journey… but if you’re patient with it, I think you’ll enjoy it.  And some good feet and shirtlessness as a bonus.


Kinky Halloween

Kinky Halloween

I know it’s nearly a month later and we’re pretty much headway into Christmas, but I’m a big fan of Halloween here and don’t quite want it to end yet. 

I’m in love with all those haunted house attractions.  This year, I’ve visited Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios.  I love them because I do enjoy horror, but also because many scenes verge on kinky and bondage.  I even spoke about how my experience in the haunt Alone last year changed me personally (sadly, they’re not performing in Los Angeles this year, but they have taken their show to Australia!).

Anyway, a few of my favorite bondage/torture pics appear below.  The first pics is from their Saw maze.  The feet are fake, but they look pretty damn real, don’t they?  The guy is pretty hot, too.  Pity about the flesh wound, haha.

img_8488 img_8540 img_8551 img_8552 photo-oct-21-8-42-47-pm photo-sep-28-4-35-22-pm img_1131 img_1145 img_1176BUtdMzsCYAErVt8

This final pic is not from a haunt, but the comic book version of Hellraiser.  But I’ve always like the image, and it fits the theme, so I thought I’d include it.



Sexiness in bad movies:  Blood Sand (aka The Sand)

Sexiness in bad movies: Blood Sand (aka The Sand)

So I do have a soft spot for terrible horror movies shown on the cable network Chiller.  They’re often pretty bad, but they also tend to include sexy people in them.  This movie, Blood Sand (aka The Sand) from 2015 is no exception.  It appears to be a remake of the 1970’s movie called Blood Beach, where people found themselves sucked under the beach sand, presumably by some sort of alien creature that lived under it.

To be honest, I never actually saw Blood Beach, but the image of being sucked under the sand is oddly sexy to me.  Perhaps related to my gunge fetish, I do find the premise of quicksand to be quite appealing.  As a kid, I remember being very fascinated by the mud scene in The Neverending Story (the guy there is young, but at the time, I was a similar age, so it was appropriate), as well as the quicksand scenes in Krull and King Solomon’s Mines (the 1985 version, with Sharon Stone(!)) and Richard Chamberlain–who later came out as gay).

In any case, I grabbed a few pics that seemed up the alley of the readers of this blog.  Don’t worry, there’s no gore here, although if you do see the full version of the movie, there is some (very, very fake computer generated) gore effects.

The guy in the first pic lying face down doesn’t last long, but the other guy is Dean Geyer.  Sorry the pics are fuzzy; I literally just held up my iPhone to the TV screen.


Society movie (1986)–a hot and gay(?) influence

Society movie (1986)–a hot and gay(?) influence

I’ve always been a big fan of horror movies, and used to subscribe to a magazine called Fangoria.  (It’s still around digitally, but not in print.)  Often, they would mention movies that were not in wide release, but noteworthy.

One was called Society, made in 1989.  I wanted to see it so badly, I bought a bootlegged video cassette of it at a sci-fi convention while in college.  At the time, I didn’t know what bootlegged meant, haha.  Interestingly, it wasn’t a terrible copy of the movie, but it did have Japanese subtitles for some reason.  Nevertheless, it allowed me to see the film.

Why am I even mentioning all this on this blog?  Well, it stared Billy Warlock… of Baywatch fame.  He was pretty hot.  He does get shirtless fairly often, and barefoot in the opening scene (though you don’t get much of a view other than his tops, and even that is a bit far away).  And while he doesn’t really get tied up, he does get led around on a leash.  But even more significant to me, it was one of the first male to male kisses I had even seen in a movie.  Seeing as this was 1989, and shlock horror movie, it was really unexpected and very hot.  More on that later.

Also surprising is that the movie is actually pretty good for what it is.  It has some wry commentary about class, as well as some intentionally comedic moments.  Without giving away spoilers, the plot involves Billy as the son of a wealthy family, and he never feels like he fits in.  And we later discover that he’s more right than he could’ve ever imagined–there may be some shape-shifters in his midst.

The effects of the movie manage to be graphic and campy at the same time, and the ending is a now infamous alien orgy that has to be seen to be believed, a screen cap of which is below.  It’s actually quite ahead of it’s time for how pansexual it was… men, women, old, and young.  Oh, and alien as well.  Gotta be inclusive.

The “gay” kiss comes in when Billy faces one of the aliens, pictured above.  It really amazed me at the time.  It was probably the first male to male kiss I had ever seen. 

What amazes me is that Billy Warlock was willing to film the scene in the first place.  Remember, around 1989, there wasn’t much gay content in mainstream media at all, let alone in a horror movie.  I suppose you can argue it’s not truly a gay kiss, but even so, at the time, there were very few actors that would be willing to film anything remotely gay, so it was a real shocker to me at the time.  It made a real impression on me, especially since the guys were pretty hot on top of it.

Note:  a bit of a spoiler ahead…. if you want to skip it, stop reading now above the line and go enjoy the movie.  It’s now reached a cult status, and is available on DVD.  If you like surrealist horror, with a hot guy peppered in, as well as a bit of comedy… go see it!  I actually still enjoy it.

Spoiler ahead, with video… though it does show the kiss.

Billy is about to be “shunted”, which is the equivalent of being eaten by the aliens, by the son of his nemesis.  So they lock lips.  Unfortunately for him, Billy manages to turn things around on him… quite literally.  I’ve found a low quality video of the scene below.  You can watch about the first 30 seconds of this before it gets too graphic (it does have a very gory ending, so if you are sensitive or squeamish, definitely stop watching at 30 seconds or less–and not a moment longer).




The Horrors!  Both real and kinky.

The Horrors! Both real and kinky.

Note:  With Halloween approaching, I thought it’d be fun to bring this back.  This is a repost from 2012, but it is one of my favorites, and I spent a lot of time creating it, so I’m presenting it again.



For Halloween, I take a bit of a gruesome look at some of the distant relatives of our kinks.  I’ve personally found it both interesting and fascinating to realize that so many of the kinky things we do to each other and nearly take for granted in the scene have a basis in genuine historical torture and execution techniques.  I’ve actually read up on a number of books on torture, and I’m suspecting many of you have at least a passing interest in it–even though the medieval stuff does go way further that I’d hope any of us would ever go in actual practice.

I present a few historical tortures, followed by the more modern counterparts that I see used in the kink scene today.  The parallels are quite impressive, and may serve as a reminder to why some of the “vanilla” people not into our scene can have such a strong response of disgust with what we do–they probably have some trouble differentiating then and now.  It’s also a matter of consent and safety (no permanent damage, in our case), but that’s often a bit difficult to explain to people not in the scene.

This is not for the weak of heart.  I hope you find it both disturbing and informative.

Pear of Anguish 

  • Medieval Torture: 

This would be shoved into the anus (or mouth) of an unwilling victim, and slowly opened until it tore the appropriate orifice apart.  If the mouth, it would shatter teeth and jawbones.

  • Modern Counterpart:


You can get your own at The Stockroom.  As they mention on their site, this item was also featured in their store on the first season of American Horror Story.  I suppose it could be used as a mouth gag, too, but with caution.

To be honest, this is not exactly a device I see commonly used amongst kinksters.  But at the same time, I thought the similarities between the medieval and the modern were pretty striking, so it seemed like a pretty good place to start.


  • Medieval Torture:


A more mild form of punishment, more typically used as public humiliation.  But it did allow the victim to be subject to whatever abuse the crowd would dish out:  throwing rocks, food, or fecal matter at them.  Occasionally, their earlobes would be nailed to the board.

If a pillory for feet, sometimes a fire would be built underneath, reducing their feet to charred stumps.  Alternatively, their bare feet would be coated with a salt solution, and a goat would be brought in to lick it off.  While it would result in initial laughter, over time, as the salt solution continues to be reapplied and repeated, the coarseness of the goat’s tongue would gradually abrade away their skin until bloody red–through the muscle, perhaps all the way down to the bone.

  • Modern Counterpart:



I’ve found it a bit tricky to find a reliable source of stocks.  There do seem to be a few independent vendors online, but I’ve never used them, so I can’t really speak for them.  Occasionally, you can find them on eBay.  This spreader bar, or steel stocks, seem to be the most readily available.  If anyone knows of a good source, please share your recommendations!


  • Medieval Torture:

Often, a victim would be hung up in the exposed air.  People would be allowed to swing the dangling cage, throw things (food, rocks, fecal matter), be helplessly exposed to the elements, and you’d often be given little to no food or water.  It was not uncommon to be left for days, weeks, or months–resulting in a slow, agonizing death.  After a person finally died, often the corpse would usually continue to be left up as a warning to others.

  • Modern Counterpart:



While there are body versions of cages out there, most kinksters today would probably be more likely to have a pup cage (if they can afford and have the space for it, lol).  But there are lots of other examples, such as this vertical cage.


  • Medieval Torture:

More of a humiliation tool, this device was typically used on women who gossiped too much.

  • Modern Counterpart:


You can get a similar version at Mr. S.  Not much difference, is there?  Some things just haven’t changed.

Lead Sprinkler

  • Medieval Torture:

This would be filled with molten lead, and then sprayed across a naked body.  Sometimes, as the victim was lying down, molten lead would be poured directly onto the eyes, burning out the lids and eyeballs, going down into the brain, resulting in incredible agony, and usually death.

  • Modern Counterpart:



Today, most of us like getting candle wax dripped on us.  Fortunately, candles can be found virtually anywhere, and are generally much safer than molten lead.  😉  One word of caution:  if I’m not mistaken, I believe it’s beeswax candles that burn at a much higher temperature, and can cause semi-severe burns if you’re not careful.  Also, I do believe some colors burn hotter than others, so check for that as well.

A generally well-known tip:  if you hold the candle higher up, the wax will have a bit of time to cool as it drips down.  The closer to the body, the hotter it will be.  To save a bit on cleaning, or if you’re a bit nervous about trying candle wax, you can wrap the body in Saran Wrap.  It’ll dilute the effects, and is much easier to clean up afterwards.  Well, off the body, anyway.  A lot of will inevitably end up on the bed, so have a cloth, blanket, or more saran wrap underneath to catch anything that drips off.


  • Medieval Torture:

Sort of speaks for itself.  As a pure torture technique, it wasn’t uncommon to have knots at the end of whip, or steel fishing hooks that would rip apart the flesh with each stroke.

  • Modern Counterpart:


As for me personally, I’m not as into the idea of flogging/whipping.  That said, I’ve never tried it, either.  I’d maybe be up for trying it at the hand of someone with experience.  A good variety of floggers can be found here, and I’m sure many readers will know of other sources.  There’s endless styles, with different levels of intensity.  Unfortunately, this is not my area of expertise.


  • Medieval Torture:

In medieval times, you would crush thumbs, knees, or even worse, your head.  To the point that bones would shatter, and limbs and muscles would be torn apart.   With the head, your teeth would literally grind together to dust, your jawbone would shatter, and your eyeballs would pop out.  The process could be stretched out over hours or even days.

  • Modern Counterpart:




Nowadays, we like to crush balls and tits the most.  Lots of different kinds and styles out there, each with their own unique kick.

*     *     *

Hope you all found this informative.  It’s a bit sobering to see that our kinks and genuine torture techniques are not that far apart.  It’s all a matter of consent, and knowing when to draw the line.  This is why it’s always best to play safe.  We do often hear of people who have died in our community, usually from unassisted breath play.  Never do breath play alone!  And always have an emergency safety plan in place.  Safety scissors, to quickly cut rope but not skin, are a great start.  And Doms/Masters/Tops should keep a close eye on their subs/slaves/bottoms to make sure they’re not uncomfortable or in pain that’s out of their limits.  And of course, safety words.

While I did link to the same site for the medieval torture, much of my info actually came from the books The Big Book of Pain by Mark P. Donnelly & Daniel Diehl, and The History of Torture by Brian Innes.  Both are fascinating reads.

Movie Review:  Salo, or 120 Days of Sodom

Movie Review: Salo, or 120 Days of Sodom

Made in 1975, this is considered by many the most unpleasant and disturbing movie in the world. It tells the story of 18 kidnapped youths, 9 men and 9 women.  They are utterly degraded, humiliated, raped and tortured for the simple pleasure of 4 aristocratic men.

The structure of the movie is usual, alternating from the mundane to the extreme.  Once kidnapped, each day begins with a story being told by one of the wives of the aristocrats while the rest sit around and listen.  These stories are the vile and sexually degrading, and yet are told rather matter of factually, even humorously.  The stories often lead to ideas for the aristocrats for their torture, which is when the more physically graphic scenes occur.  It’s all very intense, and these is a very disturbing and extended scatological scene.  (Do note that none of my pics in this post have scatological content, save for a bit in the video preview.)


Even in this preview, there are some scatological scenes and naked women, as well as one relatively unpleasant scene physical torture scene.  So if this trailer is too much for you, this movie is definitely not your thing, because it only gets more intense from there.


Strangely, the movie is beautifully shot.  And since I saw this on a DVD with a extras, there were a few that were mini-documentaries about the film.  They expressed that much of the teen cast couldn’t stop laughing during filming, and it was only later they saw how intense the film was.  Also, the director was killed before the movie actually got released (in an incident that as far as I could tell, had nothing to do with the film itself).

As I watched, I as amazed that so much of the young cast had seemingly no issues with being fully naked.  I suppose being Italian may have made that a bit easier… there’s not as much shame about nudity in Europe in general, at least not as much as there is in United States, which is (unfortunately) much more puritan about that.  I was also shocked at the amount of gay and transgender content.  The men kiss the boys just as much as the girls, and at many points cross dress.  At first I believed this to be incredibly and unusually enlightened, until my husband did remind me that at that time, such activities were seen as further proof of perversion, and not socially acceptable.  It’s a good point, so maybe “enlightened” is not the correct word… but even so, I find it remarkable in 1975.

I do think what’s a bit interesting is that some of these same things are seen in the gay kink community. Being leashed and collared, and being forced to eat out of a dog bowl… that’s nearly par for the course on most kink blogs. But the obvious main difference is consent. When it’s done in the gay kinky community, it is (or at least should be) done with complete consent on all sides. In the context of this movie, there is no consent, and that makes it horrifying.


Why would anyone want to watch a movie like this?  Well, to be completely shallow, some of the guys are pretty hot.  And if the scenes had been contextually consensual, many of them would frankly be pretty damn sexy (big if here, of course).  At the end of the day, it’s good to remember this is just a film, not a documentary (although that can be easy to forget, because it does have a bit of a documentary feel).  And films like this are also seen as a bit of a dare… you often find yourself asking, can I get through this?  Sometimes we stare at a car accident, no matter how graphic it may be, and that tells us a lot about our own human psyche.  Lastly, on a serious side, there is a very political message here about power corrupting.  And despite all the atrocities that are depicted in the film, the final shot is one of hope.

salo-flower-boys salo

For me personally, I wasn’t as shocked when I watched the film because I did a thorough reading of it beforehand (mostly Wikipedia) so I could prepare myself.  For once, I really didn’t want to be spoiler free, so I could be prepared psychologically for what I was about to witness.  But if I had seen this film knowing nothing beforehand, it would have been quite unpleasant.  It’s not for everyone, but I was glad to see it.

Nico Tortorella, please call me

Nico Tortorella, please call me

If you haven’t heard of this guy, where have you been?  Super hot, and openly sexually fluid.  So, ah, Nico, if you read this blog… I will totally make an exception to my pics and posting rule for you.  I’d love to tie you up and play with your feet, and I’ll be very discrete.  Don’t we all think he’d look great in bondage?  Let’s not forget he was (briefly) tied and gagged in Scream 4.  To the best of my knowledge, that’s his only known bondage scene.

First off, a few links to articles about him discussing his sexuality:

And of course, some pics, with a focus on feet pics at the end.

Still kicking at over 12 years old!

Still kicking at over 12 years old!

I’m talking about this blog!  The first post was done on July 9, 2005!  It wasn’t an exciting post… at the time, I was trying to run an amateur male foot bondage website (it wasn’t the greatest, but I did what I could with limited resources at the time… find out more about my history here) , and all it did was announce that I had restructured the website.  Below are some of the pictures from that original website, all my feet of course.  My, digital cameras have come a long way since them.

To say this blog is 12 years old is accurate, but also a bit misleading.  I didn’t begin daily posts as I have it now until about the end 2010.  But still, over 7 years of nearly daily blogging–unpaid mind you–is a not insignificant achievement in my opinion.  I think about all the other blogs I used to follow that are now either gone or no longer updated, and I do look at the ones that remain, and realize I am humbled by my company.

I can’t believe I’ve been doing this for as long as I have.  This blog has seen me go from a boyfriend, to being single, to dating, to being in a relationship, and eventually getting married.  And am still happily married, thank you very much.  And this blog gets about an average of 1,500-2,000 page views a day.  Not too shabby for a niche market, so to speak!

It’s also given me terrific opportunities to hear from all kinds of people, meet and connect with people–many of which are well-known names in the community, and have experiences I couldn’t have imagined just a few years ago.  Just look at all the subs I’ve had a chance to play with!

So thank you, dear readers, for being a part of this!  The best way to celebrate would be to send me pics of your own bound feet for me to post.  Or I can keep them to myself if you don’t want to be public.  Or just say hi!