Category: thoughts

TFG Thoughts:  More experienced than I thought?

TFG Thoughts: More experienced than I thought?

When I meet people for scenes, I actually prefer beginners and newbies.  It’s for two reasons.  One, I do honestly enjoy and get a charge out of seeing a guy go through his first kink experience.  It really makes me excited.  Two, I felt I was a relative newbie to Doming myself, and would feel awkward Doming a sub that had way more experience than I had.

But lately, I’ve noticed I’ve been getting contacted by guys that have some experience.  And for a few, when I talked with them, I even told them that I may not live up to their expectations, and I didn’t want them to be disappointed with a scene.  Many have said they didn’t mind, and went ahead with the scene anyway.  And guess what?  They actually enjoyed themselves (and me too, obviously).

I remember a scene many years ago with College Blonde Twink.  At the time, he had recently gotten out of a relationship, and was looking to explore his kinky side.  Also at the time, he was living in San Francisco… the heart of gay kinky West Coast (I believe he’s since moved).  When we hooked up, he wanted to try kink.  On reflection, I think he was looking for a step up from pink fuzzy handcuffs.  After the scene was over, he said it was way more intense than he thought it’d be (it a positive way).  Yet to me, we hadn’t do anything too extreme.  It was then I began to perhaps realize that I was improving my own skill.

I’ve also been chatting a bit with CastroKinky, and he’s not only been incredibly supportive of me and my work here, but he’s also given me his blessing to one day work with some of his subs.  Which is even more amazing because we actually haven’t even met in person yet.  (For the record, I would only fully feel comfortable if I met him and his subs in person first before proceeding with a scene… but that’s one of the reasons he seems to respect me, because I don’t rush into things and am sensible about things.)

By now, I have played with some people who have done quite a bit, and then tell me they had a great time and want to meet with me again.  It’s given me a bit of pause, but I now think that in my own way, I have gained quite a bit of experience.  And that maybe I’m underestimating myself.

Alone haunt gave me confidence

Alone haunt gave me confidence

So you may know, but I’m a bit of a Halloween aficionado (see here, here, here, here, here, and a small essay comparing inquisition techniques and modern day kinks here).  I absolutely love haunted house attractions, and love to visit all kinds.  I also enjoy horror movies, and between that and kink, there can be a lot of crossover (witness the movie Hostel and its infamous torture scene in which Jay Hernadez is chairtied and ballgagged).

That said, traditionally, haunted house attractions are more of a group experience… one tends to go in with a small group of friends.  But lately, there has been a trend of haunted attractions where you go in very small, intimate groups, or even alone.  The first of note that I had heard of was Blackout, which is still going on as far as I know (during the season, of course).  While I still haven’t done that one, I have done one of the other more famous ones, Alone.

But what most people don’t realize about Alone is that it is not the usual haunted house.  There is no gore, and very little in the way of people jumping out and scaring you.  It’s more about creating surreal experiences.  Like being in a dark room, and seeing a person off in the distance that just stares at you.  Or someone else walking up to you and smearing your face with lipstick for no reason.  It’s more about being unsettled and unnerved rather than grossed out or startled.


I’ve actually had four separate experiences with Alone, as they do a few a year.  And I only recently realized a side effect:  they’ve given me more confidence.  This past year for Halloween, I attended a more traditional, frightening haunted house–by myself.  Before, I don’t think I would have had the courage to do that.  And while I was a bit nervous, I did end up having a great time, and was actually a bit proud of myself for doing it alone.

When I tell most people I went through this, they think I’m absolutely nuts.  Maybe, but if a bit of bravery is a side effect, I’m not knocking it.  I think it’s given me a better sense of courage, and a willingness to try new things.  If you get a chance to try it, I recommend it.  Do some things on your own, and let it make you strong.

On a side note, Alone is moving their experience to Australia this year (2017)… so if you’re down there, give it a try!

TFG Thoughts:  The Start of a Scene

TFG Thoughts: The Start of a Scene

I was talking with a self-confessed newbie on Recon, when he brought up this question, as with my response:

I think this is a great question, and it’s good to get this info out there.  This is my general policy, especially when meeting a person for the first time.  Communication is so very important for everyone to enjoy a scene.  And even if there has been a lot of messaging beforehand, in person talk is still important, as you can find out more face to face and be very direct.  Sometimes, what people say online can be misinterpreted.

I want to further elaborate that when I say “discuss what we will and won’t do”, that’s a discussion for both the sub and Dom to state their limits and preferences.  Doms can have limits, too.  In my case, I won’t do any anal at all.  Also not into the idea of sounding or electro (even as a Dom).  I love the idea of flogging, but I have no experience in it, so I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it. 

When working with someone who is new to kink, I will often check in with them during the scene to make sure they are doing okay, if they are enjoying themselves, as well as ask if there’s anything else I could do to them (or not do if they didn’t like something).  Yes, it can sometimes sound a bit like a customer service survey.  I try to keep it brief.  But it’s worth it to know the sub has an opportunity to express how they’re feeling about the scene without repercussions.  I do try to read body language, but everyone reacts differently, so it can be difficult to gauge with certainty. 

Now, if you’re meeting with someone you already know, or have excellent references for, this process can be greatly abbreviated.  But even then, I still will check in a bit.  People can grow and change their preferences, and what was once taboo for them may have grown as an interest after all.  Or vice versa, where they tried something and found it wasn’t for them.   So updates are always important.  Never assume.

I think this is something important that often becomes overlooked in many kinky blogs.  And I can’t lie, the abstract idea of being taken against one’s will without “consent” can be a hot one… as a fantasy.  However, it can be entirely a different thing in reality, and if not careful, can potentially lead to some unpleasant situations. Unless you already know and really trust the Dom, I think it’s generally best left to fantasy.

If the Dom doesn’t want to communicate with you and answer your questions, it may be best to move on.  It’s important you feel comfortable, and if you’re not, don’t put yourself in a situation where you feel unsure (in a bad way). 

TFG Thoughts:  Getting Called Daddy

TFG Thoughts: Getting Called Daddy

So I’ve always been a guy into twinks, even when I was younger myself.  My interests haven’t changed, but obviously I’ve gotten older.  And believe it or not, but I do not lie about my age.  As I write this now, I am 46.  I suppose it’s a bit easier for me to admit my real age, because when people meet me in person, I’m often mistaken for much, much younger (typically mid or late 30s).  Not sure how long that’s going to last, but I’m certainly not going to argue it while it does, lol.

To prove it, these are all pics of me taken about two months ago as I write this.  I think many of you would probably agree that it’s not necessarily the body your would imagine for a 46 year old, but there it is.  Not saying I’m a gym rat or super fit, but not the typical “dad bod” either.  Not that either of those are bad things, by the way!

Nevertheless, I’ve had quite a few of my younger slaves recently address me as “Daddy”.  In a way, it’s caught me a bit off guard, because I haven’t been called that before, not even in my cyber scenes, nor have I asked for it.  Though on reflection, it shouldn’t be much of a surprise… generally, if most younger subs are willing to meet a person in my age range, they do have a bit of an age play or son/daddy fantasy.

I can imagine some guys would take offense to it, especially if said without being asked.  But I have to confess, at least for me, it was a bit of a thrill to hear it.  While I don’t feel like the typical “Daddy” image, I do find the designation quite hot.  It means I’m a bit of a mentor, a role model, and a disciplinarian.  And if a hot son is willing to please Daddy, and be punished sometimes, I’m all for it.  But in the end, a Daddy must take care of his son.

On a recent scene with a 19 yo who called me Daddy nearly right away, he told me later at the end of the scene that not only was it one of the first times he had been hard for 3 hours straight, but that I was a good mix of Dominant and affectionate.  I think that’s a pretty accurate call, and a fair summation of what a good Daddy should be as well.  I was actually quite flattered.  While I still enjoy being called Sir or Master, I can now wear Daddy with pride.

Cyber improved my verbal

Cyber improved my verbal

So as many of you know, I do often enjoy engaging in cyber play.  I imagine much of the active kink community may generally look down upon this, assuming a real life experience is superior.  To a certain degree, I do agree, and I have found that many cyber play sessions do ultimately die off for just that reason… eventually, a guy wants a real life experience.  And I can’t really blame them.  Ultimately, a real life experience is the ideal situation.

But there are many cases where that’s not just possible, or maybe a guy actually prefers cyber.  It works well for me, because it allows me to “play” while maintaining my current real life relationship.

Recently, however, I’m come to realize an interesting–and quite obvious–side effect.  It’s made my verbal play stronger. 

Many guys are very into verbal humiliation:  name calling, being told they’re inferior, weak, useless, etc.  But like anything else, it’s a skill that can be built over time and practice.  And when you come to think of it, cyber play is essentially all verbal. 

I’m often surprised at how many guys write and tell me how much they enjoy reading my cyber scenes.  And I think it’s because I have become quite good at the verbal play.  So even if you do prefer a real life scene, give cyber a try, and see if it helps you in this regard.

Now see this stinky foot, slave?

Lick it.

Get your tongue out as I wipe my sole against it.  It want it wet.  You hear me?

Now moan.  And drool.

Kiss it. 

And thank me for the privilege while it’s pressed against your faggot lips.

Your dick is hard?  That’s what I thought, bitch.

TFG Thoughts:  Kissing

TFG Thoughts: Kissing

I’m not sure if I’m unusual or not, but when I Dom, I really enjoy kissing.  It’s even listed on my Recon profile.  That said, I always check with the sub to see if it’s okay with them.  And maybe surprisingly, about 2/3 of the time, they’d rather not.

Part of me does find it a bit ironic that one would be willing to strip, be tied, gagged, teased, and perhaps edged… but kissing is drawing a line.  But after some thought, it does make some sense.  Kissing is a different sort of intimacy, often implying more of a romantic connection.  While the sub may only be looking for the immediate experience.

There’s nothing wrong with that, but it does make me wonder how often other Doms want to kiss.  I seem to get a sense not all that many.  But the few subs I have met that enjoy kissing during a scene really enjoy kissing during a scene.  A few even need it as an integral part of a scene, perhaps to put them in a safe space.  To be given assurance that while, yes, I have you tied up and at my mercy, I’m going to take care of you.  And to me, that makes it even hotter.

It may not be for everyone, but if you allow it, it may make a scene even sexier.  Assuming all parties consent, give it a try!

The cyber posts seem to be doing well!

The cyber posts seem to be doing well!

I must say, I’m quite surprised at how popular my Wednesday cyber posts have been.  I now have quite an army of cyber slaves, all willing, able, and begging to do my bidding.  Seems I’ve really tapped into something here.  I even now have multiple straight guys doing my bidding!

Honestly, I’m very flattered so many of you have told me that you find those posts hot.  I do as well, of course (or else I wouldn’t do it).  But it really seems to have resonated with a large number of you, even those of you who are just reading about it passively–and that’s also been a surprise for me.  In a way, I now have more cyber slaves than I can keep track.  I do enjoy tormenting and abusing all of them, but unfortunately I can’t really abuse all of them full time, so it goes in stages.  Generally, the same goes for many of the cyber slaves themselves, so it typically works out.

I will note that while I wasn’t initially sure, I believe I’ll be having cyber slave content for some time to come.  And I’m thrilled so many of you are enjoying it.

To celebrate, here’s a few of my fav cyber slave pics.

First, PAW_ss, one of my straight slaves.  He enjoys a bit of gunge play, so I made him cram a Twinkie into his face and mouth.  And once while he was traveling, I made him wrap up his head in toilet paper… which I then made him put inside a toilet and flush.  And those piss soaked underwear at the end?  He had to then wear those over his head.

Wouldn’t be complete without LL_slavej, the Lowest of the Low.  He’s been my most dedicated faggot, and knows how he should be treated.

SockBitchSlave, a true worthless fag.  Love putting his mouth to use.  And getting it trained to suck cock.

Brett, one of my very first cyber slaves.  Before it was even called that, in fact.  The pics from the session below lasted 3 hours, and he was hard the entire time.  In the last pic, he had to bury his face in a shoe, have another shoe on his crotch, stick a finger up his hole, and then spank himself, and thank me each time.  Oh, and he said the entire room stank of his rancid feet.

And this is just scratching the surface, there’s so many more!  Be sure to check out my cyber tag to see them all. Review:  Tyler Rush, Bank Manager Abducted Review: Tyler Rush, Bank Manager Abducted

So not too long ago, my husband got himself a subscription to, and he kindly downloaded a few videos that would interest me.  One of them features a very hot guy I’ve liked, Tyler Rush/Pup Amp.  You may know him and Bolt from their Watt’s the Safeword series on YouTube, but Tyler has quite a porn career of his own.  I chose this particular video because it seems to show off quite a bit of his feet, which I don’t feel I see enough in his other pics.  He usually shows off his very fine ass, which I’m not complaining about… but as a foot guy, I’m always interested in soles.

As a disclaimer, I do not have any sponsorship or affiliation with (though I may one day look into it), so this is just a personal opinion.  Much of the time, a lot of their videos don’t really appeal to me as much as I’d expect, and I can’t really quite say why.  I think much of the time, they use fairly buff men, and I’m more into twinks.  That said, they do have a variety, and with Tyler (and a few others I’ll review later), I feel I do get my twink count in.

I did find myself enjoying this vid, which has the full titled of “Bank Manager Abducted and Edged to his Limit”.  As you can see, he get footworshiped in the first major kink scene, as well as rimmed and blown.  He moans a lot, which I always enjoy hearing.  He later gets tied on all fours (basically the only two major positions in the entire vid, though he does get tied face up and jerked off with a bit of tickling at the very end, but the scene is much shorter).  More rimming and blowing, but also some foot worship and foot tickling (though that part is fairly quick).  He later gets faced fucked with a dildo on a stick at the same time his penetrated with another dildo on a stick… a very humiliating situation that he moans and slobbers loudly about, which surprisingly got me off even more than seeing his feet.  It’s that humiliation aspect, and I’m a sucker when a slave moans, groans, gags, and slobbers.  And he does all that.

tyler01 tyler02 tyler03tyler04 tyler05

I did enjoy this vid quite a bit, but surprisingly for me, it was the dildo spitroast (pictured above) that got me off the most.  But if you’d been wanting to see his feet and soles, this vid is the one for you. Review:  Dakota Wolf, Bound Whore Review: Dakota Wolf, Bound Whore

This vid features one I hadn’t heard of before, Dakota Wolfe.  This super subby twink (I believe only 19 when the vid was made) didn’t have a lot of vids on the site, but he’s now one of my faves.  Love his super young, innocent look, but he also seems to love being a slave whore.  I only got part 2 of the vid with the title, “Bound whore gang fucked like an animal in a packed bar” (such eloquent names they have, lol), but that’s because it’s where all the foot worship activity happens.  And it’s all right at the beginning.  They make him moo often in a tool of humiliation, which I initially found off putting, but he gets so into it and being degraded, it actually became pretty damn hot.

He worships bare feet and boots for quite a while.  The vid then does move more towards traditional cock sucking and a group scene, and ends with many loads on the constantly moaning slave whore.  He really seemed to enjoy his place, and while I’d like to see more of his own feet, it was just as enjoyable watching this young slut get into worshiping other’s feet and being used.

While the foot worshiping segment is short in proportion to the rest of the video, estimating it at about 10 minutes total, that’s still a pretty decent length.  I know I watch it often!

dakota02 dakota03 dakota01

TFG Thoughts:  No Face Pic attitudes on Recon

TFG Thoughts: No Face Pic attitudes on Recon

So as you can see based on my TFG’s sub meets, I’ve meet up with a number of guys.  Most of them were because of my Recon profile (under the same name).  And very often, in the course of chatting with a guy on Recon trying to set up a meet, they will often ask for a face pic.

I have it explicitly stated on my profile that I don’t share face pics online.  I have a life situation where if my kinky side were recognized publicly, it could have a very negative impact on me.  A single kinky session is just not worth the risk for me.  If I’m wanting to meet with someone for a scene and they want to see me first, I am willing to meet them in a public location beforehand, or give references of people who have met me.

Some will say that’s a deal breaker.  And I do understand that–I have no issue with people who feel this way.  An in-person session is a very physical thing, and if there’s not a certain physical attraction, they don’t want to waste their time.  Some also view it with a wary eye, as if I have something to hide.  Physically speaking I don’t, and in fact, I’ve been told by multiple people when we met that I’m rather handsome.  (Blush.)  But I choose to keep my kinky side and personal side separate, and that means I can’t show a face pic.  It’s also out out my respect to my husband, who chooses to remain very private as well.

The frustration I do have is this… more than once, I have chatted with someone on Recon.  Often rather extensively.  To the point where we are about to schedule an actual meet.  And that’s when they ask for a face pic.  And when I say I don’t share, they just disappear.  And I think, “Didn’t you read my profile? We could’ve avoided this entire waste of time conversation right away.”

Often I’ll admit, they’re just not reading my profile.  Maybe I just need to make it the number one item in my profile, so it’s more upfront.

But I also think maybe sometimes people may think that after talking a bit, I’ll change my mind.  I can say this… it all the online interactions I’ve had, over Recon, email, twitter, tumblr, text, etc., I have only sent out my face pic 4 times.  And all times, it was to people I had talked to consistently for years before I finally did so (or, in one exception, has an excellent track record and known reputation).  It’s not something I do lightly.

I have noticed it tends to be younger people who have the “Must have a face pic” attitude.  It would figure.  They’re grown up on social media, where everyone shares everything.  It sort of bugs me whey they say “it’s 2017, show your face”.  But most of them also don’t have decades of careers or life partners that would be at risk.  They’re only thinking of themselves in the now, and not the lives of the people around them.  I think most older guys get this.  One day, the young guys will figure it out.