So I’m coming to terms with the fact that I live two entirely separate lives.
In one, I’m a respected guy with a great boyfriend and great job. I have nerdy hobbies, and watch tv. Nothing out of the ordinary.
In the other, I run an internationally known blog, and am a bit of a kinky celebrity. I get guys sending me pics, and fairly regularly humiliate willing slaves online.
I’m realizing that it’s sort of like having a secret identity. While my BF knows of both worlds, in all other aspects, these two lives of mine are completely separated. And sometimes, it feels like the kinky alter ego is winning out over the regular guy. Which isn’t so good for daily life and earning a living, which sort of comes in handy.
While I am totally envious of those who can merge kinky and daily lives, it’s not really an option for me. Both from a job security point of view, as well as respecting my boyfriend’s privacy view. If I want to earn a paycheck, it’s in my best interest to put up a dividing wall.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to stop blogging. But at the same time, I’m going to do my best to keep it a bit more in the background, and give my “regular” life a bit more priority. Because I’m sort of realizing that the majority of my friends now are kinky online friends. Not to belittle that at all… I do, in fact, feel quite close to them. But my BF doesn’t know them at all, and it isn’t something that I can share in my regular life.
While I do intend to keep blogging, I may be taking small breaks here and there, in an effort to get “out” a bit more, and away from my computer. But if you notice a lag, don’t worry… I’ll be back.
