Okay, this isn’t directly kink related. But it does deal with juggling a kinky life with a non kinky one.
To do a very short summery of things I’ve already brought up about my personal life: I love my kinky online friends, but I feel as if I have more of them than any regular, real life friends. And that’s been a bit frustrating to both me and my BF… we’d both like to get out and meet more people, preferably gay guys/couples, and just socialize a bit. And they don’t have to be kinky. As much as a part of my life as it is, I have just as many non-kinky passions that I and my BF also like to explore.
That said, because of my blog, most emails and communications I get are from blog readers. Don’t get me wrong, I love that. In fact, I’ve recently been getting a number of very cool messages and meeting some very cool people. I’m not afraid to share all my kinks, and I love hearing about others exploring them. However, I’m rather guarded about my personal life. There are a few things about me that, aside from my BF, only about 2 other kinky people know. This is to protect my job as well as my BF’s privacy, which he takes very seriously.
What that adds up to is: my default position is discuss kink very openly, but be cautious about personal stuff and career–and there are some things I just don’t talk about unless I’ve gotten to know you very well over years.
So here’s the switch. Both me and my partner have actually recently meet a few guys on the social front. One was at a party thrown by a vanilla ex-boyfriend, and the other was on Grindr. Okay, I know what you’re thinking about that latter. But I swear, I’m only on Grindr for two reasons: 1) to look at all the pretty pictures, and 2) the rare occasion where someone may be interesting as a friend only. (I should note my Grindr profile makes no mention of my kinks whatsoever, only my personal life interests.) Well, this guy fit into category #2, and so far, we are getting along pretty well. And I’ve made it quite clear with all that this is a friend thing, not a hook up. Since all parties involved so far are monogamous couples, there’s been no problem with that.
While this pretty awesome news, here’s the strange part… after all this time, I now have people where I can openly discuss my personal life, and I don’t dare say a word about my kink side. Which is the exact opposite of my default position. Now, who’s to say that in time, if these friendships work out and become substantial, I may reveal myself. But until them, I get to live out the other side of a secret identity. It’s an unusual switch for me, but a sort of welcome one for a change. Does anyone else go through this?
On a side note, the BF and I will be traveling out of town for the next few days. There will still be posts going up, but there could be quite a delay if you reply to this or email me. But I will get back to you as soon as I can.
