I think one thing that sets me a bit apart from the larger kink community is the fact I choose to remain sober. Both during a play scene and outside of a scene. I’m sure there are a number of other guys that must stay sober, but when I hear stories from many kink events (IML, MAL, and the like), there always seem to be stories of lots of drinking. And let’s face it, most real life cruising happens at the bar scene. I realize I’m in the minority here. But it leaves someone who doesn’t drink with not a lot of options, it seems.
During a play scene, I’d hope most responsible players, especially the tops, should be sober. It’s just a matter of safety. Would you want to be tied up when the Dom suddenly passes out? Subs/Bottoms could have a bit more leeway, depending on the comfort level of the Dom. Personally, I prefer for the guys I work with to be sober. Not only is it safer to me, but allows the sub to be more engaged.
For two guys that I’ve personally talked to, the subject of poppers came up. It’s not really my thing, but I do know there’s a fair number of guys who do enjoy them. It wasn’t 100% comfortable for me, but as long as it was in moderation, I’m okay with it. One decided not to use them, the other did a bit, but had run low, so in both cases, it turned out to be mostly a non-issue. But my preference is still without.
I suppose it’s after the scene where the non-drinking seems to be a bigger issue. I must concede it’s basically the social norm, but it really isn’t for me. I just can’t relate to party and hangover stories, and I don’t choose to engage in them. A lot of people are surprised when I tell them I don’t drink. “At all?” they ask incredulously. It’s tantamount to saying you don’t like pizza or ice cream, and it often sets me very apart from other people. But my philosophy about it is pretty straight forward… I don’t believe in artificial happiness. To me, it has to come from within, or else it’s meaningless.
I don’t scold others for drinking. Everyone is free to make their own life choices. I’ll respect your decision as long as you respect mine. But sometimes I feel it takes me a bit out of the kink community.
