Earlier this year, I took a short trip to San Francisco. I’ve been typically going about once or twice a year, because I found the rates on MegaBus are often cheaper than the gas money I’d have to pay if I drove myself. So I put on my podcasts (often No Safe Word!), load up my iPad with games and movies, bring books, and settle in to a 6-7 hour ride from Los Angeles. (It’s only about a 5-6 hour drive in your own car, but the parking fees in SF are insane.) Fortunately, public transportation is much easier in SF than it is in LA, and if I’m feeling impatient, Uber/Lyft is fine. To me, a car isn’t really necessary up there.
Now, in the gay kink world, SF is probably one of the best known cities in the US. Not only is Mr. S headquartered there, but so are well known events such as Up Your Alley and Folsom. Because I choose to remain very private (I don’t want my picture taken without my consent, and I don’t feel like wearing a mask the entire time), I don’t go to those events, but I do enjoy a trip to Mr. S while I can. And I won’t lie, it’s always amazing to see your Recon profile blow up with so many people so close to you. You can scroll down page after page and still be seeing people less than a mile away, which always blows my mind.
But I must say, after many repeated visits to SF, I get very little interaction with kinksters up there. While there are a few exceptions, as a whole, the community seems very flaky to me. I get very few visits to my profile, and most messages go unanswered even after being viewed.
I tweeted about this, and one follower commented that he thought it was a bit more difficult for foot guys. In his eyes, the community up there is much more traditional leather and rubber, with much fewer options for feet, socks, shoes, etc. I do think there is some truth to that. But it’s still frustrating.
Fortunately, while I didn’t have any kinky meets on this trip, I did get to meet a couple kinksters that I’ve known and chatted with for a while. It was purely social, but I always enjoy that as well when it’s people I’ve known for a while. I won’t disclose their names for privacy reasons (one I have mentioned here, but one I haven’t–just admired from afar, and was a bit surprised I got to meet him), but I can say that it’s fascinating to hear what’s behind the profile. Some have financial issues, others were married and I didn’t know it, living with exes and the complications that brings, and one who has a job in church! When we see hot bondage profiles online, it’s so easy to forget there’s a real person behind them, with problems and lives like all of us, as well as other interests that may define them even more thank kink does. I also have to put myself in the latter category… I have a few non-kinky interests that I am even more obsessed about than my kinky ones.
That said, while I did meet a few great people, I just don’t see myself going up to SF as much anymore. Not only is it too frustrating with all the flakes and/or non-responsive kinksters, but it’s also getting a bit too expensive on top of that. The MegaBus rates that used to be so cheap are climbing, making an economical visit there less appealing.
We’ll see, because there are a few people I’d still like to meet (and possibly have a scene with). But at least for the near future, unless the prices come down, I think I may be done with SF for a bit. And if I do go, I certainly won’t be expecting any kinky scenes.
