I’m a bit behind in catching up with my episodes of No Safe Word podcast, but I recently did hear one episode of Ungagged (in which the “subs” take over the show) about planning a scene that I thought was very informative, especially if you are a newbie and unsure how to proceed with a scene.
They do a bit of news and games first, but the bulk of the episode has a lot of good ideas. For instance, when meeting someone new, I do talk quite a bit before the scene about what the sub likes (and doesn’t like, equally important). I like them know what I’m into, and they say if they are into the same or not. Based on that info, I do some general planning and figure out what gear to bring. Once we meet in person, we review it all again (sometimes it changes in person, or they can be more specific). I establish safe words, and the scene begins. I feel it’s a good balance between planning and over-planning.
If I meet that person again, I generally have an idea what their interests are, so not as much has to be said. Although if a long period of time has gone by, I will follow up, as interests can change.
Also, at this point, I have a separate bag of gear I use just for meets. Since I’m married, I’ve decided I didn’t want our personal gear as a couple to mingle with the gear I use on others. That does mean I need two sets of all my favorite gear, which does add up. I will admit I sometimes use slightly lower quality on the meets to cut expenses, and to not be out as much should the gear ever get lost, stolen, or damaged. But it’s been very assuring to my husband (who really isn’t as much into outside play), so it’s been worth it. And I do clean all the gear between scenes.
No Safe Word/Ungagged has many good ideas in more detail. Find out more and give it a listen here!
