In this Trump era, it’s easy to find hate all around us. But it’s equally easy to find hate within our own community.
I was recently catching up on the new show Pose, which is about the underground gay/drag/ball scene in 80’s New York. In this first episode, a character tells another words to the effect of, “this is the place you can go where you’re not accepted anywhere else.” It’s a great sentiment. But the irony to me is that inside, during the balls, performers are publicly judged in often the most cruelest of words, treatment, and humiliation. And for a world that’s preaching acceptance, there sure can be a lot of division.
In watching Drag Race, contestants often read each other. They insult each other, but it’s all taken in fun. But there’s a fine line between reading, shade, and outright hate. And it can be difficult to differentiate between them. I’ve heard that many of the Drag Race contestants–a show that preaches love and tolerance–have had to shut down their social media accounts because they were getting so much hate and even death threats. Death threats are not acceptable anytime, and what may be just reading to one is hate to another, especially when online and tone is not always easily defined. Have viewers learned any sort of lesson here? Has our community?
The gay community often turns its back on bi and trans people, the irony of which is too depressing to contemplate. We all need to know that people need to follow their own journey, and that maybe one’s journey may even change over time. And as long as it doesn’t directly interfere with your own journey, then they need to be left alone or, better yet, supported and encouraged.
Even within the kink community, I feel there can be elitism. Old guard sneering at new guard, and vice versa. Judgement about one’s roping skills. Bragging about scenes. Unless a person is acting unsafely, respect their decisions and views. Or maybe try to educate if necessary. Because unless we can all truly tolerate each other, then we have no right to complain when a baker won’t make a cake for us.
