Many of you may know I’m a huge fan of TheSideKink (he has a twitter, but it’s set to private). We’ve met a few times for scenes (and just socially). It’s not often, as he’s quite far from me. And that’s a problem for him in general… there’s no substantial players in his local area, and that can be frustrating. He posted the following tweets, which he gave me permission to post. His quotes are in the dark boxes:
“I have loved the internet because it gave me the opportunity to meet amazing people across the world. It also helped me to discover my kinkiness and meet others in the kink family that spans the globe. But there’s a major downside.
“I just found out this morning that a superhero fetish guy I met ages ago through Yahoo groups and Gearfetish passed away. We had talked on and off for years but never had the chance to meet in public. But still it hurts to hear of his passing.
“The internet is great for spanning the distances of geography to find the family we always wished we had. But it often leaves you with that empty feeling when one of your own is no longer in the world and you feel like you never “really” met.
“Sometimes I do wonder what happened to some of the guys Ive met online when they suddenly stop posting, disappear or delete all traces of themselves. I do hope they are ok. But that’s the nature of the net, its is both permanent and temporary.
First of all, I’m sorry to hear about his loss. But I find his words very relatable. Personally, I find social media to be a very double edged sword. On one hand, it’s incredible to see and be able to (relatively) easily find and talk to like minded guys all over the world. Prior to social media, I often wondered if I was the only person who had the kinks I did. They weren’t talked about. Now, it’s easy to find a community of people for every kink or interest you’ve thought of, as well as a few you haven’t!
But the other side of that is that it’s unlikely many of these people are nearby, and so you may never get to actually meet any of them in person. Which simultaneously can make you feel more isolated and lonely.
And I think it’s even worse when people “disappear”, ghost, or delete their profile… because then there’s not even any closure. The only comfort I take in that is that 9 times out of 10, the issue on their side: emotional, family, personal, work, relationship, schedule, or they just want to take a break from kink to focus on other things. But it’s still hard.
