TFG’s Thoughts: Math, Science & Engineering in Kink

Over the years, I’ve been fortunate enough to meet quite a few people in the kink world. And now that I’ve had some time to reflect, I’ve noticed something curious… a disproportionate number of guys in the kink community are engineers, mathematicians, physicists, scientists, etc. I myself fall into one of these categories.

It reminded me of a quote from the comedian Margaret Cho. Watch the 45 second video clip below where she talks briefly about S&M people (not my clip, lol).

If you did watch it, the big quote is, “There’s this creepy connection between leathersex, Star Trek, and the Renaissance Faire.” Well, while I don’t have much personal experience in the Renaissance Faire (although the few stories I have heard and my one time experience seem to confirm her observations, lol), Star Trek is science based, so I think we’re both on to something.

The big question is why. While I haven’t seen any studies on this (if anyone is aware of any, please let me know!), I have my own personal theory. And that is for the most part, those events require a lot of alone time. You can do them completely independently. (I do realize this is not entirely true for some sciences.) One can be by themselves, doing work, without needing to engage with others.

Why would this be appealing to gay kinky men? Part of it must surely be finding safety in an activity that values independence. There’s acceptance in being and working alone. In school and childhood, many of us have been picked on by others for not fitting in. Why wouldn’t we find comfort in an activity where we don’t need to rely on anyone else, and risk any feelings of rejection or being made fun of by others. We can escape to our own world where nearly anything is possible. This also makes our mind more open to exploring new ideas, and suddenly, the idea of kinky sex may not become so kinky. Plus, just think about both the geometries and mechanics of bondage play. It takes quite a thoughtful mind to make an intricate tie.