A couple of weeks ago, I posted about being insensitive to a friend, and hoping to regain their friendship with “Slave H”. In short, that hasn’t happened. But I did take the advice of a commentor, who said that my efforts to continue and try to reach out to Slave H may come across as desperate or stalker-ish.
I was desperate, lol. I’m still very sad I don’t have him in my life right now. But at the same time, I can’t just spend all my days for something that, at this point after many attempts at apologizing, aren’t being returned.
If you recall, Slave H had a non kinky twitter account that I was following as well. He had unfollowed me. I was still following him, but was refraining from commenting or liking his posts in an effort to give him his space. But after a while, it still hurt me to see his twitter and not be able to reply to it. So I muted it after a while.
About two weeks ago, I did send him one last message on that Twitter account that was intended to be my final contact to him until he replied. He wasn’t replying to my texts, and I wasn’t sure if he was even seeing them. At least on twitter, I can see if he had opened it or not. And after seeing my message to him sit unopened for two weeks (during which I know he had logged on to twitter), I decided that was the final sign. I ultimately unfollowed his twitter, and deleted all his messages on text and twitter–because it was still painful me to see those constant reminders.
I’m still sad, of course, and I do hope one day he’ll maybe come around. But at least I’ve been able to move on. I still do check in on his twitter every once in a while, but I don’t linger. It’s more so I can just see how he’s doing, because I do still care for him. At this point, I don’t even really care if I don’t get to do another kinky scene with him. I’d like him back even just as a friend.
I want to reach out to him just to see if he’s okay, but I know it could only exasperate the situation even more, so I’ve resisted. But I hope he’s okay. That I’m still so, so sorry. And that he knows I really, really miss him.
