I get many similar questions from time to time, so I thought I’d start a page where I can direct people to them.  To be honest, most of these were posts first, but it was getting tiring to repeatedly search for them to answer their questions… so I put them all in one place.  Hopefully, I’ll add to this as time goes on.  

Last updated:  47/17/23

What advice do you have for a beginner into bondage?

In terms of what equipment to buy, it’s really up to you.  Despite what you see here and in other blogs, equipment doesn’t have to be first rate or from a major fetish store.  Nearly everyone, even those who are now experienced, had humble beginnings with rope, neckties, ducttape, etc.  If your interest intensifies, get whatever appeals to you that fits your budget.  There’s no one-size-fits-all answer here.  That said, my personal advice would be wrist and ankle restraints, some gags, and a quality blindfold.  I’ve gotten a lot of use out of just those, and it may surprise you how much a blindfold/hood can add to a scene.

If you’re meeting with a Dom for the first time, Fossil9 has some great pointers on his own blog posting.  My own advice:  make sure you talk to the Dom as much as you can, and if possible, talk to other guys the Dom has worked with.  If you don’t feel comfortable, don’t meet them!  Or meet them only socially first in a public place.

In terms of bondage techniques, I’ve added a page on my blog where I’ve complied some of my favorite instructional bondage videos, mostly from Watts the Safeword (and they’re safe for work!  As long as they don’t mind the occasional shirtless guy.)  There’s also a great website called Twisted Monk that has an entire free section of video demonstrations of various bondage ties. It’s where I learned to make a body harness! Some of the models are clothed female, but the rope technique will still apply, so keep an open mind.  Below is their example of the very commonly used 2 column tie:

They have many more videos available, and it makes for some very fun browsing.  Lately, I’ve discovered a couple of cool technique videos from BoundJocks.  There’s another basic site called Lord Tierman that does not have videos, but pictorial guides to other various knots and ties.

In terms of gags, I found a great blog entry on Leather. Bondage. Love (no longer around, but I’ve archived it here) about how to make the ideal duct tape gag.  You won’t be disappointed.  It does appear to be time consuming, but also very effective.  Even I had no idea how detailed a good gag can be!  And the model is pretty hot too.  So it’s a win-win.

And one of the classics, which I bought way before the internet, is the book Jay Wiseman’s Erotic Bondage Handbook.  A great read, and very educational.

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A word of caution about practicing self-bondage:  While most of us have started that way, it can be dangerous if you’re careless.  Have safety scissors nearby at all times, and always have a way to access and use them.  Don’t tie anything so tight that you begin to lose any circulation.  This goes for any bondage, really.  You should always be able to wriggle a finger or two into any tie.

As far as places to get various bondage equipment and supplies, visit my Shopping page.

 

How do I become your online/cyber slave?

So perhaps you’re interested in being an cyber slave.  First off, I cannot guarantee full-time enslavement.  I have a full time job and husband, and those do have to come first.  I also do not do any cam/facetime.  I’m also doing less cyber play that I have in the past, due to both work and personal life.  

While I’ll play with nearly anyone a few times casually, there has to be some chemistry between the two of us for something longer term.  That chemistry has to be mutual, of course.  If things are looking serious, I’ll have an “equal” talk with you, we’ll establish limits, and then go from there.

I love working with new, beginner slaves.  It really turns me on to know I’m working with someone who’s eager to please, and is interested in getting their first experience with online slaving.  And online is a very safe way to go about it.  I respect the slave’s limits, and I never post pictures of any session unless I have the slave’s permission to do so.  You can look through this blog and see that any possible face pics I posted of slaves have been blurred, cropped, or not posted at all.

Still interested?  Then here’s my demands and rules summed up.  It looks like a lot, and may be overwhelming if you’re a novice.  But we can take things slow if you’re not certain, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. 

• I generally like the slave to be younger than me (but over 18, the legal age here in the USA).  But I’m not against if you’re closer to my age, as long as you’re willing to submit.
• Since I already have a full time job and relationship, don’t expect constant attention.  You’ll be doing my bidding frequently or infrequently, at my whim.  You’d just be a disposable toy to me.  That said, I do often assign my slaves tasks that may be daily.  However, I can work around the slave’s schedule if need be.
• The ability to send pics and video of yourself.  Although I might not show mine.  I’m not here to please you.  You should be willing to show your face and body to me, at least over time.  NOTE:  Such pics would remain private, between us, unless you give me permission to post them.  I do respect your privacy.
• You should also have similar interests as me:  feet, bondage, humiliation, abuse, and possibly gunge.
• I like humiliating guys and forcing them to do demeaning things.
• Also, if you really want to be a slave, then beg for it. Send me a short email pleading and begging to me why you should be my slave, and what you are willing to do for me. When you do, all references to yourself should be lower case (“i”, “me”, “slave”), and references to me are capitalized (“You”, “Sir”, “Master”).  A good slave has to follow my directions.  The more you plead, whimper, and properly obey, the more of my attention you’ll have.

If anyone is interested in infrequent or one time sessions, contact me, and we’ll see what I can arrange.  But I make no promises, and please don’t take it personally if it doesn’t work out, or I ignore you for long stretches.  Sometimes it’s more my schedule and availability than my actual interest.

 

How can I get tied up by you?

Generally it helps to be in the Los Angeles area, although I do occasionally travel.  Check my Recon profile if I have any travel plans listed.  Keep in mind my schedule is often very limited–my work and husband keep me very busy, and they come first in my life.  So don’t take it personally if I can’t meet up with you.  I can name at least 5 to 10 people that I want to meet up with, but schedules just haven’t aligned yet.  So have some patience.  

I don’t care if you’re gay or straight.  Your own personal experience level doesn’t really matter much to me.  In fact, I particularly like working with newbies and those with very little experience to the scene.  It gives me a bit of a thrill to see someone tied up for their first time.  As a service Dom, I can be gentle, demanding, or somewhere in-between, whatever is in your comfort zone.  I tend to be Dom when meeting others; I would only sub for guys I know very well over time.  I am still learning as a Dom, but am enjoying the journey, and I haven’t had many complaints from subs so far–and in fact, many of them have come back for more.

A few rules I have about my meets:

1. My husband and I have come to an agreement:  I can meet with people for bondage/foot/gunge/slave play only as long as I tell him about it.  Also, no oral or anal sex at all.  You will not see me naked.
2. If we do meet, I will take pics of our session.  If you are concerned about identity, I can crop out your head, blur out features, or have you wear a hood or gag/mask combo.  You will get to preview all pics before I post, so that you can have final say regarding identity.  I won’t post any pic that makes you uncomfortable.
3. Since I live with my husband, I can’t host, but I am willing to get a hotel if you can head my way.  If I’m available, I can try to go to you if you can host.

I am selective about who I play with, and will probably want to chat/email with you for a while before actually meeting.  I like twinks, feet, bondage, lycra, slaving, verbal, and/or humiliation are my favorites.  I also enjoy tweeking a subs nipples, and am getting into the idea of being a tickler.  But not a ticklee.

What are some of your favorite scenes you’ve done?  What would you do to me?

In terms of online slave play, Brett, SBS_justin, and Restwalker are great classics.  Not to mention the little “competition” I placed between the latter two.  Of recent, I’ve enjoyed “abusing” LL_slavej (Lowest of the Low), SockBitchSlave, PAW_ss (Pathetic And Worthless straight slave), and another straight slave heterobrieffag.

In terms of real life play, I’ve had a few memorable occasions.  Some personal highlights:

• BoyTrigger has been great fun, one of my favorite subs I’ve played with so far, and we’ve had many scenes together exploring a lot of different things.
• Freezeman is a guy I really click with and have had many great scenes with.
• FeatherTicklish is another great guy I’ve met multiple times.
• Slaveboyy is another guy I’ve had multiple scenes with, and really likes lycra/hero play.
• EstrellaBoyToy begged for me to abuse his feet.  How can I resist that?
• Ticklishguys a couple of times, once with a friend (here, here, and here).
• In the summer of 2013, I got to tie up Jordmac, as seen here, here, and here.

But to be brutally honest… I don’t think of myself as an expert roper.  Remember, pics you see of me bound here at my blog were done by my husband, who is more skilled at ropes than I.  Which is one of the main reasons I prefer to work with beginners.  That said, I do feel my work is improving.

If you want a small glimpse at my collection of gear, see it here.  I also have highlight pics of my bondage work here.

 

Do you get permission from everyone when posting pics from other sources/blogs/tumblrs?

Only when posting a large set.  If it’s just a single pic, I really don’t have the time.  Not to mention the fact that it’s sometime difficult know where a pic originated from.  But if I am finding a lot of pics from a single person that I like, I nearly always try to get their permission before posting.  Sometimes accidents happen, but in all my years, I’ve only been asked to take down 4 pics since doing this blog.  At this point, most guys are flattered when they find themselves posted here.

I have a more detailed response about this topic here.

Where can I find Superhero costumes/Lycra?

I’m not going to lie, I typically order them on eBay or Milanoo from Chinese vendors.  The prices are good, as is the quality, and they are very good about customizing outfits–such as adding a crotch zipper, detachable hood, etc.  Just visit eBay and enter “lycra”, “zentai”, or “spandex” into their search engine, and the hero you’re looking for.  You’ll find a host of options.  While the prices are generally good, do be aware that the international shipping could be quite a bit extra… so don’t forgot to account for that when budgeting.  Some including the shipping in their price, and some don’t. Read carefully in that respect.